1. Keep a notebook for two to four weeks and simply write down everything you spend either on a card or in cash. At the end of this time you can get a good understanding of your spending behavior and what if anything you can change.
Once you have this information divide you will be able to write up a very comprehensive monthly budget for the household food and expenses.
You will have a great idea of the money you waste each month on non essentials and ‘can’t be bothered’ items or food.
2. Document all you income. This could be from your job, your spouse’s job, any interest that regularly gets paid into your accounts, any benefit from government or other sources.
A clear knowledge of your income means you now know where the monthly spend limit is.
3. Document all your monthly outgoings. These include mortgage repayments, car loans, personal loans, credit or other card repayments, all utilities, any insurance and all other regular payments.
When you write up your budget these payments must be taken care of from the income you get. Sometimes banks and lending facilities will agree to allowing you to stop paying monthly mortgage or card charges while you are going through the divorce.
But do not think you will not pay, everything you owe will be calculated and deducted from the sale of your home or in some other way agreed between you.
This can still be a good idea if there is not quite enough money to support two homes, a divorce and all the joint bills.
4. Work out your legal fees. Do this jointly or alone but be very aware at all times what your divorce is costing you.
Lawyers, mediators and other professionals all charge rather large amounts which they will want paid monthly or in some cases at the settlement of your case.
This is money you will need to factor in to your budget. Paying your lawyer as the bills come in keeps the fact that this is a financial transaction firmly in your head and can stop you from over spending on lawyers.
5. Don’t use spending money as an emotional crutch. You will regret it. If you are an emotional spender then start to devise ways to counter this.
Try doing free activities before you allow yourself near a shop of any kind.
For instance, take a walk when you feel the urge come on. As soon as you feel that little voice telling you could do with some retail therapy, thank it kindly and then go for a walk. The endorphins should kick in enough for you rethink the shopping.
6. Learn to shop for food and cook that food. One of the most wasteful things people spend money on is food. We tend to buy food that is not eaten, is expensive because it is easy or simply we eat out.
It is much cheaper and healthier to buy fresh food, then prepare and eat it in your own home.
Eating out all the time is another form of retail therapy, you are giving yourself a little present. Try nurturing yourself by actually preparing healthy menus that make you feel good, and save you money.
The same goes for your children, rewarding children with food or giving them food because you feel guilty is not doing your children a kindness. Think of other ways to make your kids feel better.
7. It is at this time people review their spending and discover they may be paying unnecessary costs on direct payments they have completely forgotten about or no longer need.
This is the time to sit down and meticulously go through your bank account statement when it comes in.
If there is a payment you do not understand then find out what it is and either except it or shut it down.
You may be very surprised how much you are unwittingly giving away each month without realizing it.
8. Cutting down your expenses. If you cannot afford certain luxuries anymore then you will have to stop them. Married couples tend to live to the edges and beyond of their income. When one leaves and the money is tight then it is time to pull in the belt.
If you have help in your house or garden and can do without it, then do so. Instead of a professional gardener get a neighborhood kid to mow your lawns or better yet do it yourself.
If there are jobs around your home that cannot do without a professional then you may need to consider cutting down their hours or the amount of times they come in a month.
9. Personal grooming can take a battering in divorce. Sometimes people completely let themselves go. Sometimes they have complete makeovers.
It is really important to feel as good about yourself as possible during divorce. The divorce process is extremely draining emotionally so getting up and looking in the mirror and not likeing what you see is an awful start to the day.
But spending large amounts of money that you do not have on new clothes, hair styles, plastic surgery or other cosmetic procedures is not the answer at this time.
If you feel the need to makeover your physical side start with diet and exercise which will have the added benefit of making you feel good. Then figure into your new monthly budget the amount you can spend on the new look you.
10. Always keep in mind you are in a situation where over spending will not make you feel good.
It is feeling better and happier about yourself and your life that helps people get through the divorce process faster than others.
If you actively work against yourself by making your financial situation worse the transition to happy will be longer.
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