Simple Divorce Advice

You might think that “lateness” would be a trivial issue compared to the many more substantive concerns associated with child access disputes. Invariably though, the complaint of lateness, especially at transition time, is a hot spot between parents in conflict. It is also one of the more frequent complaints that divorce attorneys hear from their clients. Allowing yourself to disrupt your time with your child because you are bent out of shape over the other parent’s tardiness is generally a non-productive expenditure of your time and energy.

• Be grateful that you are getting to see your children; it could be worse.
• Waiting at your home is far better than waiting on the other parent’s front porch.
• If she is “always” fifteen to twenty minutes late and she is supposed to arrive at 5:30, pretend that she is supposed to arrive by 6:00 p.m. Then, when she and the children arrive at 5:50 p.m., you can “rejoice” that they are ten minutes early.
• By complaining about it, the other parent knows that it gets to you; don’t give her the satisfaction.
• Think about how your actions are diminishing the quality of the time that you do get to spend with your children.
• You should make your children feel like you are overjoyed to see them, not bummed out at the time of their arrival.
• As far as the courts are concerned, generally people who complain about a few minutes here and there, or an occasional substantial deviation from punctuality, look like idiots when they waste time squabbling over such things. There are more important issues to be concerned about.
• When you are supposed to have the children some place at a particular time — just do it.
• Teach by example.
• Things don’t always work out just right; people will be late from time to time.

The world is a busy place and the twenty-first century is replete with more and more things to do. The same technological revolution that is supposed to make our lives simpler and more convenient often interferes with our parenting time. How many times do cell phones, emails and video games get in the way of the limited amount of actual parenting time that is available? Sometimes it is necessary to slow down in order to make progress in your parenting practices.

Borrowed from the widely acclaimed and award winning book, Stop Fighting over the Kids: Resolving Day-to-Day Custody Conflict in Divorce Situations, with permission of the author, Mike Mastracci  See what the experts have to say about Stop Fighting Over the Kids  www.stopfightingoverthekids.com  and visit Mike’s Family Law Blog:  www.DivorceWithoutDishonor.com

Originally posted: Is Lateness Causing You Undue Stress In Your Divorce?

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