Simple Divorce Advice

In child custody litigation, it is no secret that when a case comes to court, the judges are reluctant to change the status quo if things are generally working out for the children. This concept of maintaining the status quo is similar in theory to not rocking the boat, upsetting the apple cart, or trying to fix what isn’t broken. It is a simple concept that can cause huge problems when two stubborn parents are preparing for court and jockeying for position to be awarded primary custody. What follows is an example of how some “traditional” legal advice only fosters acrimonious litigation.
All too often the perpetual fighting starts when parents ask the wrong questions and the lawyers provide some accurate, but “wrong” answers.

The way to avoid disaster and best provide for your children is to start asking the right questions:
• What does winning really mean in these cases?
• How can I avoid a custody battle?
• What is fair?
• In general, what is the best schedule for children of separation and divorce?
• What would work best for our children?
• How can we avoid damaging our children?
• How can we reduce the costs of the divorce?
• How can we reduce the anger and hostility?
• How can we learn to get along better, at least when it comes to our children?
• How can we learn to be flexible, so that things adjust as our children’s needs change?
• Here are some of the right answers:
• You “win” a child custody battle by avoiding one.
• You avoid a child custody battle by being fair and reasonable.
• Being fair means being respectful of your children’s relationship with the other parent. The best schedule for children is one that optimizes the amount of time and involvement that both parents have. The best schedule considers the needs of the children as well as the practicalities of everyone’s schedule.
• Avoid damaging your children by showing that each parent loves them unconditionally.
• Encourage your children to spend time with, and love, both parents.
• Reduce the costs by reducing the anger and hostility and by being fair and reasonable.
• Reduce the anger and hostility by being fair, reasonable, and cordial.
• Seek counselling if you are having difficulty coping.
• Take advantage of the many resources, books, tapes, and educational materials that can help you learn to communicate more effectively.
• Become a student of positive parenting.
• Work on self-improvement and be the best parent that you can be.

Borrowed from the widely acclaimed and award winning book, Stop Fighting over the Kids: Resolving Day-to-Day Custody Conflict in Divorce Situations, with permission of the author, Mike Mastracci See what the experts have to say about Stop Fighting Over the Kids www.stopfightingoverthekids.com and visit Mike’s Family Law Blog: www.DivorceWithoutDishonor.com

View original: Child Custody Litigation – Where To Start

Popularity: 5% [

If you’re new here, you may want to subscribe to my RSS feed. Thanks for visiting!