Simple Divorce Advice

Motivation is the thing that gets us moving, it is the opposite of procrastination the enemy of getting things done. In divorce procrastination is quite common as every time you take action you are wandering into the unknown.

It is really easy when you are in the divorce process to lose your motivation as you cannot see where the future leads or you are having very vivid images of a dismal future that you are in no hurry to get to.

The thing is if you do not keep motivated and moving forward to reach a settlement and be able to start a new life that is on your own terms you can spend years treading water and not move ahead in anyway.

To be motivated you need to find a reason, an emotional reason to take action, try the following to find your motivation and keep it:

1. Write down where you want to be in 5 years. Let your imagination wander to what you would truly like. Where would you like to be living, what work would you like to be doing, who are your friends, what do you do for fun? These are the sort of questions to ask you. Write it all down and look at it daily to give yourself the motivation to continue so that you will be able to reach your vision. Every morning wake up and choose to be happy and motivated.
2. You may think this sounds crazy but mood is a choice. If you find this difficult as the first thoughts into your head are worries then get up 20 minutes earlier than normal. Put on your walking shoes and go for a walk. Spend the first ten minutes going through everything you are grateful for. You may not be able to see many at the moment so start with the sun, the grass, the park, the colors, and then get personal. It is an amazing thing but you cannot be sad and happy at the same time and if you make yourself happy it will become easier and easier to get back to when you need it.
3. Start a to-do-list (if possible hang something on the wall where you will see it a lot, a large whiteboard is great) A to-do-list will be your anchor to all the chores or actions you need to take. It will never disappear only change but having everything there in front of you will help keep you organized and on track.
4. Start every morning with the worst job on the list, or part of the worst job on the list if the job is a biggy. This is a fantastic way to give yourself confidence and does not take all that much discipline. Doing a job that you really would prefer not to builds your belief in yourself and the more confidence you have the further you will push yourself. Many people do not like making phone calls to strangers; this is a perfect morning job. You’ll feel great after you have finished and the rest of the day will be for the work you enjoy.
5. Dividing tasks into smaller parts is necessary to keep you motivated. This is called chunking down or as I prefer “fairy steps”. Fairy steps get you where you want to go one small step at a time. It is easy to see the next little step where as it can be quite daunting to see the huge project as one thing. Nothing is one big thing, there are always parts and the parts can be broken down into smaller portions that can be performed in a timely manner. The thing that matters most is that you just keep taking the next step.
6. The last thing to remember is to congratulate yourself for every task you accomplish that takes you closer to the end goal.  Being hard on yourself is one of the worst motivation squishes there is. Expecting more of yourself than you do others is great to keep you moving but being overly hard on yourself will only make you feel bad and in the end you will sabotage all your efforts and lose motivation.

Give these 6 Tips a try and see that you can motivate yourself to finish this stage of your life, get through the divorce and start to build yourself a great new life.

Excerpt from: How to Stay Motivated When Going Through Divorce

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