Simple Divorce Advice

Last night I was a dinner party with friends. It was a wonderful night, 3 couples, 2 singles, laughing, eating (such good food) and enjoying each other’s company.

As the night wore on one couple started bitching at each other, over everything from the house they could theoretically buy to how they treat the dogs. It was quite uncomfortable for the rest of us who love them both dearly.

I don’t know what is going on with this relationship, were they having a bad day or is it more serious. The point is not that my friends were sniping it is that this sort of behavior is uncomfortable for everyone else.

Never be one of those people who go around bad mouthing your ex at any and every opportunity. Nobody wants to hear it and it is you that comes across badly.

The old saying ‘If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all’ is apt for the divorce process.

You may have a couple of confidants who you can let loose at and who will not judge you because they know you well enough that any tirade is frustration and stress being emitted via the mouth.

Choose these confidants wisely.

With everyone else, hold your head high and suck it in. You be the person you want to be, the confident, in control person. The person who puts others first and does not feel the need to air their dirty laundry in public. Nobody likes dirty laundry except those who feel their lives are worse and want to keep you down, enjoying your pain.

If you want or need to ask someone, say a friend, a question  that has something to do with your divorce, first ask them if they are comfortable with you asking for their advice. If they are a friend of both yourself and your ex they may not be. That is fine, find someone else.

If they are then find a quiet moment alone and ask your question in simple terms and quickly. This is a friend not an employee. They are under no obligation to answer or keep your conversation private, and quite frankly you shouldn’t put those sort of restrictions  on friends anyway.

So if you have an issue which is private or something to do with the divorce find a professional to ask, and leave your friends alone.

You only hurt yourself with bad behavior, people get tired of hearing it and no longer want you around. So take responsibility for what comes out of your mouth and always try to make those around you comfortable in your presence especially in a social gathering.

Source: Divorce –What’s Coming Out Of Your Mouth

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