Simple Divorce Advice

Dealing with the surges of anxiety that seem to accompany going through divorce can be really difficult especially if you are not used to anxiety. Anxiety can hit you at any moment of the day and usually decides to do so at the most inopportune times when you would really prefer your mind to be on the thing at hand. Then, of course, there is the night when you wake up in a state and there is nothing to do but think which helps nothing as there doesn’t seem to be the answer you want in the questions you are asking.

I hate to be the one to tell you, but this is normal emotional behavior for anyone in the divorce process. You are quite normal for having these feelings, your life has just been turned upside down and it is going to take some figuring out before you reach equilibrium again.

To cope with anxiety in divorce follow these suggestions:

1. Anxiety is Normal. You are now facing a new future that is different from the one you had planned and that can be very frightening. Remember that your old future was really only a vision in your mind and even though it felt real, it wasn’t. Being anxious of the unknown is a very human thing and probably goes back to staying alive when hunting dinosaurs; we need to be anxious of the unknown.
2. Divorce Grief. You need to grieve the marriage, the past, the problems that were not addressed early enough, the home that was sold, the future that will not be and the end of the family group. Grief may come over you at different times for a long time and this is normal, accept it because it is a sad thing that has happened.
3. Learn Your Anxious Cues. Keep a journal of the when’s and why’s you get anxious so you can see if there are patterns that can be interrupted to stop the anxiety. If it is your own thoughts that are bringing on anxiety then you will need to learn to change the way you talk to yourself. Journaling is very cathartic and can help you get your fears out of your head and onto a page where you will have the chance to ask yourself questions about the right course of action instead of having the same thoughts going around and around with no productive closure.
4. Divorce Stress Management. Get some if you need it. If there is one thing that I need to repeat daily to clients that is ‘be kind to yourself’. People tend to be really hard on themselves at this time which is just silly. Look after yourself, put time aside for exercise, health and socializing, these things are good for you and produce the feel good endorphins you need right now. Eating the right foods, such as lots of fruit and vegetables with lean meats will keep your energy up, oh and, these days there is no excuse not to eat well. It is still cheaper to buy fresh food and cook, and there are thousands of classes, books, websites and even you tube videos to show you how. Exercise is the same, no excuses, if you are worried about money then go for a daily walk. If you have small children then put them in the pram or do swaps with friends. And socializing is simply a matter of saying yes to friends and NOT speaking about your woes, if you need to buy a newspaper and reacquaint yourself with the world before you go so you have things to talk about. A good rule of thumb is to ask a lot of questions, everyone loves to talk about themselves and then you do not have to.
5. Divorce Network and Support. When we marry we think we will be part of a team for ever. This of course is not the case when you divorce, you are left feeling like half of a whole, and this happens to both partners irrespective of who left who. It takes time to come to terms with being a single person and in the mean time you should try to surround yourself with a caring group that will make you feel supported. You may need extra support from a therapist or coach to help you move forward.
6. Divorce Help. If you cannot get your feelings of anxiety under control and they are interfering with your daily activities, like your sleep or the way you eat, then it is time to think about getting professional help. Anxiety can be a precursor to depression so it is best to do something now. You can visit the professional you feel most comfortable with to combat the anxiety including your doctor, a natural therapist, a professional class or your acupuncturist. Start where you feel the most comfortable.
7. Getting Over Divorce Takes Time. The divorce process takes time and you may find yourself in a legal battle for years which can take it’s toll but the emotional time to heal from a divorce can take years as well so be patient with yourself. Use the time to reevaluate your life and what you want from it. Learn to take responsibility for the mistakes made in your marriage so you will not repeat them.

I hope the above will help you deal with your divorce and the anxiety you may be feeling. The divorce process is an emotional roller coaster that you must ride until the end and as with a roller coaster, if you’re lucky you will jump off with a relieved smile and be able to go forward.

Divorce is stressful and this stress can sometimes turn into panic attacks which can be totally debilitating. If you have found yourself experiencing these Panic Away is a natural technique to Stop Panic Attacks and General Anxiety Fast!

Read the original: 7 Ways To Cope With Divorce Anxiety

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