Simple Divorce Advice

By Cynthia Lauer

Your initial consultation with your divorce lawyer may be the most important meeting you have with him or her. This is an opportunity to find out more about the lawyer and his/her approach. It is also an opportunity to learn about the legal process in divorce, to learn more about your legal rights and obligations, and to discuss the various strategies for your specific divorce.

In my practice, I have clients complete a detailed New Client Information Form before their consultation appointment. This ensures that I have as much of the relevant information as possible at my fingertips, and it also gives the client an opportunity to focus on the important issues before the meeting. It is important to prepare for your consultation by making sure that all of your contact information is provided, that you have clearly identified any safety issues such as domestic violence, substance abuse or serious mental illness, that you have set out your most pressing issues and questions, and that you have provided as much information about income, assets and debts for both your spouse and yourself.

The more information that you provide, the more effectively your divorce lawyer can advise you.

During a typical consultation, the lawyer will review your basic information and ask about the background to the divorce. As tempting as it may be to go into detail about every problem in the marriage or every suspicion about an affair, try not to do so. Your lawyer is not the best person to give you marriage advice or provide counselling. The divorce lawyer will need a basic overview of the situation, in order to understand your point of view and identify any serious issues, but you also need to make the best use of your time.

A good divorce lawyer will also discuss the best strategies for your particular divorce. If you and your spouse have agreed about most things, it may be possible to start preparing a basic Separation Agreement and then proceed with an uncontested divorce. Other cases may benefit from some form of alternative dispute resolution, such as negotiation, mediation, arbitration or collaborative family law. In some of these situations, others professionals may be recommended to provide assistance.

For example, a social worker or psychologist may help parents who are struggling to deal with child custody and access issues to address concerns and come up with recommendations for a parenting plan.

Various financial professionals can value a business and determine its true income, or provide advice on the best ways to minimize taxes. In some cases, the lawyer may recommend going to court, and will outcome the process. Question any lawyer who discusses court, but not any alternative dispute resolution. In some cases, such as those involving domestic violence, court may be the only appropriate option, but in other cases alternative dispute resolution may be faster, cheaper and far less hurtful and stressful.

Beware of any lawyer who focuses solely on court, or who promises to be as aggressive as possible. In some cases, this approach may be needed. In most cases, though, you will need a lawyer who will give you reasonable, realistic advice and promote a fair settlement.

Finally, if you have provided enough financial information, your divorce lawyer may be able to give you an overview of your rights and obligations, including spousal support (alimony), child support and property division. These figures are only estimates, and are only as reliable as the information on which they are based. However, they can give you a realistic picture of what to expect as you need to plan for your life after divorce.

Cynthia Lauer is a family and divorce lawyer in Toronto, Canada, who practices collaborative family law. She can be reached at (905) 883-6441 or .
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Source: What To Expect During The Consultation With Your Divorce Lawyer

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