Simple Divorce Advice

During your divorce you can go to pieces, a lot of people do, they behave really badly and only hurt themselves. Or you can follow the ten tips below and be safe in the knowledge you have kept your self respect in tact.

1. Choose Your Reaction. Remember that it is not the divorce but your
reaction to it that determines it’s impact on you and your children.

2. Focus on Positives. Focus on the positives of your divorce. For
example, you no longer live with your ex in a relationship that is
characterized by strain, tension, and unhappiness.

3. Get along with your former-spouse. The one thing you can do to
ensure that divorce has a minimal negative impact on your children is
to get along with your former spouse.

4. Only speak positively of your former spouse to your children. Look
for positive aspects of your ex as a parent and take every
opportunity to tell your children what a good father/mother they have.

5. Help your children remember to honor the other parent. Mother’s
and Father’s Day, as well as your former partner birthday, are
opportunities for you to emphasize to your children the importance
you place on them having a good relationship with the other parent.

6. Mediate differences with your ex if you can. Rather than get
lawyers involved, contact a divorce mediator to help negotiate
differences with your ex spouse. Mediation is less expensive, takes
less time, and encourages a more cooperative relationship with your
ex than litigation.

7. Use the legal system if necessary. If your ex does not abide by
the court ordered agreement and denies you access to your children,
contact an attorney immediately and get him/her into court. Don’t
look the other way when you are denied access to your children – use
the law if necessary.

8. Pay your bills. Pay child support and spouse maintenance on time.
This is your responsibility. Hold up your end of the agreement.

9. Be a friend to your children but be a parent first. It is OK to
enjoy the companionship with your children and to be a friend to
them. But remember that your first responsibility is to be their
parent which includes discipline, teaching, and modeling. .

10.Get a life. Being a good parent is one aspect of who you are. But
you also have a life beyond your children. When they are with the
other parent, rather than brood over their absence, use this time to
be with friends, a new partner, or enjoying activities you can’t do
with them.

Read the original: Top Ten Tips For A Divorce With Style

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