Simple Divorce Advice

People are all different and the way they handle situations are different, especially separation and finding themselves alone for the first time in what could be years. Some people will find being alone a comfort if their relationship was overbearing the other way, some people will find being alone unbearable and will go looking for companionship.

I believe it is very important not to fall into another relationship within the first year of separation as this time is best used for reflection and self exploration. By understanding your own role in the marriage you can avoid making the same mistakes again and ending up with the same result.

People always talk about other people ‘ending up with the same person’ in their new spouse. This is because they have not changed in themselves, have attracted the same sort of person and have ended up with the same sort of relationship.

After saying all of this, if you feel you want to date go for it but not as an exercise to find your next true love but as an exercise to discover what it is that you really like and want in a partner.

Tips to Follow:

• Don’t look at each new date as a potential spouse, look at them as a person to spend a couple of hours with enjoying each other’s company.
• Keep a journal and after each date write down your likes and dislikes about the person. Don’t be over critical but it is a really good way to find out what you are looking for.
• If you are using online dating sites, try changing your profile from time to time as you grow and learn what it is you are looking for. Be honest and put up realistic photos that show you as the person you really are. If need be get your friends or someone to take new photographs.
• Be polite and friendly when you are on a date. A date is supposed to be fun not a time to sit and talk about how awful your marriage was or how awful your divorce is. Give all that stuff a rest and do your best to be pleasant company with your only objective to amuse and entertain a new companion.
• There is a saying in coaching that you share troubles and challenges only with those that can help. On a date keep your woes to yourself and if your companion starts suggest that you only speak of things that make you happy.
• If anything comes eventually of the new friendship then you can discuss deeper issues.
• Dress well, get your hair done, smell nice, and smile.

Only date when you are ready and do not be pushed into anything you are not comfortable with. Your first few dates may not go as you planned so always keep your sense of humor and enjoy meeting new people.

Further reading:

Positive Attitude, Click Here!

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