Simple Divorce Advice

By Nicola Baume

Everybody has an opinion on divorce and if you are going through a divorce you are going to get everyone’s opinion whether you want them or not. Discovering where and how to get the right advice for your personal issues can be tricky if you listen to everybody.

Divorce is not black and white, the law is not black and white and children issues are certainly not black and white. Just as you have lived a different marriage from other people with your married partnership dividing the chores of the marriage into your own private working relationship, even if it didn’t work, your divorce will take all these things into account and a settlement on all issues will come from this background.

1. Stop Listening To Friends And Family – unfortunately all your close friends and family have their own ideas about you and your spouse and your marriage and their marriages and their divorces and how you should or should not be acting.

People tend to judge on their own experiences and those experiences come from their own life experiences, their own fears and longings and their own behavioural patterns. Unless someone is trained to put these issues aside they will always give you advice that is somehow connected to themselves and their experiences.

How do you cope with family and friends, the easiest way is to only discuss your divorce with your very closest and then explain that what you need is a shoulder to cry on, a person you can download on and get support but not be judged or given advice.

2. Get The Right Professional For The Right Issue – this is a really important point and one that is too often ignored. Divorce takes in many areas where professionals may be needed.

A lawyer will probably be needed to make the separation legal, if you need to litigate, negotiate, write letters or need legal advice.

A lawyer will not be the right person for your emotional wellbeing, your financial matters, your real estate concerns, your practical questions or tasks or to protect you from hurt.

If you need emotional support find it in a Therapist or Coach who is trained to help you get stronger, get moving and put the past behind you.

Financial Divorce Professionals can work out your budget, your finances ready for negotiation, your future costs and what you will or will not be able to afford.

Do not run to the wrong professional for the wrong reason. Too many letters are written by lawyers about topics that should be dealt with in other ways. A lawyer will do his job in protecting you for the length of your divorce proceeding, then what?

3. Take Control And Do Your Own Research – empowerment comes from taking responsibility for your life which includes your marriage breakdown and divorce. It is much easier to blame your spouse, your circumstances, the other woman, the children, the job, your parents, the list is endless. You have to simply come to the realisation that you made decisions within the scope of your experiences whether they were right or not is irrelevant at this point; the only thing you can expect now is to learn from them and not make the same mistakes again.

They say knowledge is power, well I agree, understanding your options and asking questions will make you stronger. Always ask what the other options are, always ask how else something can be handled. Do not let your emotions run your divorce or dictate the ultimate outcomes.

When you go through the divorce process make sure you find the right advice for your personal issues by taking control, asking questions, asking for options, having the right professionals and the right mind set to get you through.

You can find out more about Nicola Baume at her website, baumeandco.com.au for divorce coaching and planning.

Source: How To Get The Best Divorce Advice

Popularity: 4% [

If you’re new here, you may want to subscribe to my RSS feed. Thanks for visiting!