Simple Divorce Advice

I was having a bit of a blank this morning, creative block brought on more by the fact that I have got really interested in the US economy and what happens if the US defaults on its loans. Nothing as far as I can see, many of the banks are American and what is China or one of the other bill holders going to do, foreclose on Alaska?

Anyway, writers block has led to googling topics which eventually brought me back to a topic I find fascinating – The Divorce Party. The celebration of the end of a marriage, the ‘therapeutic’  get together to make merry over heart ache.

I still don’t get it.

The internet is going crazy for divorce parties and the items you can buy are very similar to those available for Hen’s parties (another relatively new celebration or I’m just really old). The thing that I find quite sad is the fact that it seems to be women who are doing the celebrating in such a showy way. Most of the items for sale are for female divorce parties.

The nurturing, caring sex is obviously changing and wants the world to see that once scorned or hurt they are not to be taken lightly. Divorce is difficult, long and an emotional roller coaster so shouldn’t the party celebrate the end of the process, the last legal bill paid, not the ‘free at last’ bad taste options available.

Somehow a divorce party feels like a ‘cop out’ as we Australians would say, loosely translated –  stepping back, not taking responsibility or being accountable for the relationship. The choice that led to marriage, the relationship as a whole, the decision to separate, where is the accountability.

It seems that women through other women these parties in celebration of being rid of the ‘man’, ‘marriage’ or ‘divorce proceedings’. I think good friends should be more aware that without some major self-examination people tend to stick with what they know and with relationships that means finding the same person over again. Which of course, lead to the same relationships, the same problems and the same emotions which hurt the first time around.

Let’s leave the plastic crowns and plastic champagne glasses stamped with tasteless slogans, the feather boas, invitations and napkins adorned with ‘free’ and above all the cake made to resemble a wedding cake with a bride triumphant on the top and a groom decapitated at the bottom alone.

If a celebration is essential for the end of a divorce then make it quiet, tasteful and more like a wake. A wake celebrates the life of a person while acknowledging that the person is no longer. This should be what an end of marriage celebration should be like.

Wonderful stories of good times, acknowledgement of lessons learnt , thankfulness of children born or friends made, recognition of time spent together becoming the individuals you are toady and a tribute to the marriage that has shaped you for the future.

Source: Still Do Not Understand The Divorce Party

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