Single Parenting and The Joys Of Going It Alone

This was written by a friend of mine who has been a single parent for nearly ten years. She has raised two children to leaving home status and now lives reasonably peacefully with her younger two. Thanks Tam for your insights.

Have you ever had one of those days when you end up just wishing you had someone to share the parenting with. It is not really because the children are doing anything out of the ordinary.

It is more of a Murphy’s Law type of thing that happens every so often, and instead of not being a part of the downward spiral, you just find yourself jumping on the wagon and yelling out to the universe ‘keep it coming’. And it just keeps coming.

Today started as a really nice Sunday morning, it was pouring with rain which is always special as it means there are few chores to do except staying inside, reading the paper and doing the super Jumbo Five Piece Sudoku. I love a rainy Sunday.

I should have noticed something amiss when I made mistakes in the SJFPS, which I just never do. My daughter had a rehearsal at school for a play she is in, which for most parents is not really an issue as most people live with a few kilometres of the school. We live more than half an hour drive from the school which means two hour’s drive if I drop her and then come home before picking her up again. This is when having another parent to share comes into its own. One drives drops off and the other picks up.

So ,in these situations I just don’t go home. I tend to go to the local library and do some work or have coffee with a friend in the area. Today, I met a friend for a coffee and a chat. It was nice. The day was going smoothly.

I sat outside my daughter’s school for an hour with my trusty laptop which I find quite enticing. I really get a lot done when I have no distractions and sitting in my car having forgotten either the Sudoku or a book is great for getting work done. Oh’ it had stopped raining so that was fine, I could breathe fresh air with the window down.

I should have realized I was on some sort of spiral when my son rang and asked me to pick up McDonalds for him because he hadn’t eaten all day. Firstly, as a trained Nutritionist I don’t buy McDonalds except on long road trips when it is the best anyone is going to get. Secondly, there is a mountain of food in the house and I will start to make dinner when I get home. Thirdly, I am not going to drive 10 minutes out of my way, park, and go to the McDonalds, order, wait, and drive home for thirty minutes with the smell in my car. And fourthly, he should know not to ask.

Needless to say I could possibly have handled the situation better and not got into some sort of argument with a 17 year old who has been out at a party last night, slept late and can’t see food unless in comes in a paper bag, hot.

So, I’m not feeling great anymore. I rarely tiff with my kids and it makes me feel uncomfortable. So, I was probably not quite with it when I then ‘lead footed’ it down the arterial road on my way home. By the time I saw the policeman with his speed thingy it was really too late to think I was not caught going well over the speed limit. In my defence it is one of those main roads where there is no reason for cars to go 50km except for revenue raising reasons. Well, I’ll be handing over a bundle when that little beauty gets delivered.

My daughter is very clever and knows when to shut up. She didn’t make a squeak for the next ten minutes as I raged about the money and points I would be losing for well, let’s face it, doing the wrong thing.

When we got home I was greeted by the chickens (we have two) in the front garden and every garden bed had been pecked onto the paths. Keeping chickens is not really a sensible thing to do in the city, but once you own a couple of chickens (who only lay one egg between them daily) you feel very responsible for their welfare.

They own the back garden, there are bugs, grass, dirt, vegetables and worms galore for them but they are not happy unless they are trying to get to other places, such as, my bedroom or the front yard.

There is only one way they can get into the front yard, someone leaves the gate open. Back to McDonald son.

I literally was jumping up and down by the time he said it was my fault that the chickens got out because since he had lost his key I should have known to leave a door open. How does his mind work that out, it would be nice to have someone to figure that out with.

Dinner is on the stove and I have just past his room. He was on the phone telling someone how deranged his mother really is. I had to walk away because I may have taken up arms to get my point across.

I love my children so much but just occasionally it really would be nice to have someone to share the Murphy’s Law Day with.

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