Single Parent Moving With Kids – The Up’s and Down’s

Moving with kids can be {difficult|hard} especially if you are moving to a new area and there are new schools and friends for your {kids|children} to get used to.

Moving is a {matter|issue} of getting stuck in: sorting the house, throwing away the {junk|rubbish}, packing the boxes, organizing the removalists or truck, loading, driving, unloading and unpacking.

This can seem {daunting|intimidating}. I have moved 20 times in the last twenty years, 6 times to new countries, with a family of 6 and all our {belongings|possessions} that took up a 40ft and a 20ft container.

The {worst|nastiest} move I every made was when the insurance company for an overseas move asked that I {accurately|precisely} account for everything in the move. I had to count everything. All the knives and forks, all the clothes, all the paperback books, all the hard cove, you get the point. Do you know how many t-shirts you own?

{Believe|trust} me when you start to count things like t-shirts you realize that keeping old t-shirts for gardening or painting is {silly|impractical}. I throw and gave away a lot of things on that move. I also really got to know what we owned, what we {needed|recquired}, what we used, and what we just kept {because|since} we loved it.

Moving is a {chance|opening} to take a good look at your life and the way you live it. I see it as the same as the old fashioned spring clean, Once a year housewives all over the world would {start|begin} at one end of their home and go through every {cupboard|cabinet} and space; cleaning, clearing and sorting so that they knew where everything was, that there was no bug problems and they could {start|bagin} the year with a ship shape home.

Moving as a single person when you are used to being part of a couple can be {intimidating|daunting} as you have to {decide|choose} on and do all the required actions yourself. There is no point complaining, putting off, crying, whining, pleading or anything else. None of that will make you feel better.

My {sage|wise} advice is to start by getting yourself some packing boxes, you can get these from all removalist companies and storage facilities, then {choose|pick} a cupboard or shelf and firstly go through it and decide if there is anything you {actually|really} do not want, then decide if there is anything you will need in the time before you move or {immediately|instantly} after. Then neatly pack your first box. Buy labels or {simply|just} write on the top of the box exactly what is inside so when you get to the other end you can make sure that box will be put in the right place and will be ready to {unpack|unload}. Moving companies often ask you to number bedrooms so at the other end they can know {exactly|precisely} where things go.

One Box packed.

Repeat.

It’s {easy|simple} if you just start and give yourself time.

The {hard|difficult} part is if you are emotionally attached to the home and have loved living there. Remember it is not just the house, it is the life, {including|counting} the butcher, the milk man and the whole neighborhood. It is a {natural|usual} part of the divorce process to grieve the life you are leaving behind. But {grieve|mourn} the life as a whole and keep the house as a part of the life not as a trophy you have lost or a {battle|fight} you didn’t win.

Many people live in the same house all their childhood and then another house while they are married. Their lives are {entwined|tangled} with the bricks and mortar. Their children think of home as a building in a street in a {suburb|community}.

My children have been on the {adventure|quest} both married me and divorced me have lived. They have had many homes in 5 different countries and they have learnt that home does not {mean|represent} where they live. Home is where I am.

Trust your children to {understand|realize} this. It may be easier to live your whole life in one place surrounded by the same people but that does not make a home. A home is made from the people who inhabit it and the feeling one gets from entering it.

A home is filled with {warmth|tenderness} and this is your job as a single parent to build a place for yourself and your children that is warm, {cozy|pleasant} and safe.

On Arriving in Your New Home

Build beds and make them up.
Unpack the bedroom boxes and give the kids the {opportunity|chance} to arrange their stuff in their rooms the way they want it. If you have children sharing, simply {divide|split} the room. If you have a boy and girl sharing if you can paint one half girl colours and the other half boy colours. Ask them to contribute by picking out the right shade at the paint store.
Next get {stuck|fixed} into the kitchen, a home is a place where food is cooked and meals are shared. If you are missing certain {items|stuff} from the kitchen make it a priority to slowly get them. Cooking together and eating together, and quite {frankly|honestly}, having a well stocked pantry goes a long way to bringing children into a new home.
The rest of the house is next. I can unpack an {entire|whole} house in a couple of days and you would think we had been living there for ages. Just do it until you are so {tired|weary} you can not stand, and then do the same the next day and it’s {done|finished}.
A home is made from attitude, so if you have paintings or wall hangings make them a priority to hang. If you have nic nacs put them out arranged well. Books belong on book shelves. Etc.

Remember you are the home and the house is the shell, you {need|must} to fill it. When you are feeling good the house echo’s that and the children feel that. If you are feeling {overwhelmed|inundated} and there are boxes everywhere {including|plus} last night’s pizza box, the children feel that and feel it is the new house that is to blame and from the start you are causing problems for your children.

They are going to look for just about any {excuse|reason} to use rather than mum/dad is not coping.

I like that saying ‘fake it till you make it’ and in this {situation|circumstances} it is especially true. Build a home, be the center and {slowly|gradually} learn to enjoy the adventure.

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