Simple Divorce Advice

I am always reading and writing about the healing process after marriage breakup. Most of the articles I read are about the steps to take to pick yourself up, reaffirm your worth and move on to bigger and better.

The reality is this is not what happens for most people. The ‘healing process’ is more a step by step process.

I talk a lot with clients about the need for fairy steps when starting or changing habits. The same applies to the ‘dusting off process’.

A habit takes three weeks to take, well at least not be a chore. This is why when people start new lifestyle regimes they rarely succeed. They try to do everything at once, a new diet restricting everything, new exercise regime, new outlook, etc, etc.

To change you need to change slowly, after all you have become you slowly through experiences over a life time. You have learnt to eat a certain way (no blaming others) you have learnt to use your body in a certain way (no blaming time) and you have learnt to interact with others in a certain way (no blaming anyone).

Let’s take food, it is a pretty easy example. An average person wanting to change their diet lifestyle to a healthy one may need to start eating breakfast, cut down on snacks, give up fried foods, discover vegetables, learn to cook healthily, drink more water, cut down caffeine, eat less or more protein, etc.

Trying to do all this in one go is really difficult but doing it in stages is possible and within a relative short time they are living a new healthy lifestyle.

I believe, we have become an ‘instant’ gratification world. We want to drop 5 kilos a week, which is causing a disaster in the health industry.

We want new and exciting relationships which are causing many people to stay out of the dating game completely while allowing charlatans to run free on online services.

If you are moving on from a marriage or relationship and are looking at all the parts of your life that need tweeking or a complete overhaul. Try these to get you moving without becoming overwhelmed;

1. Divide your life into parts. For example, health, children, exercise, work, leisure, finances, diet, romance, friends, etc.
2. Under each title write how you would like to change in this area. If you are really honest you may find you have a rather long list.
3. Choose 3 things from all the categories to concentrate on for three weeks. And make an effort to keep them front of mind.
4. Keep a log of the changes you are making.

Remember, you are using fairy steps. So, spend more quality time with the kids is too broad. Send child 1 a daily text before leaving home is specific. Or every Wednesday afternoon take Jimmy to football training. Or take child 3 to coffee after school every two weeks for a chat.

These are specific and can be put in your diary and will fast become habit.

Then choose another three.

View original: Tips To Moving On After Divorce Or Separation.

Popularity: 30% [

If you’re new here, you may want to subscribe to my RSS feed. Thanks for visiting!