by Micki McWade
I encourage you to wish your former spouse a happy Mothers or Fathers Day, even though things may be rocky at the moment. This may seem counter-intuitive if things are not going well, but it’s an investment in your relationship as parents. Neither of you would have these particular children without the other and for that alone, it’s a cause for acknowledgement.
Every relationship, regardless of how it ended, had its good points or there would not have been one. Having children together is most often a high point. When a dad acknowledges that the mother of his children is doing a good job, it gives her a boost and pleases the children. The same is obviously true in reverse.
Mental health requires balance. While things fell apart in the relationship, its helpful for parents to remember there were some good times too. It’s good for the kids when mom or dad acknowledge positive aspects of the other parent and when they maintain a healthy perspective about the time together.
Divorce can be an extreme but usually temporary situation where people are encouraged to see the worst in each other, particularly in litigation. Seeing each other as co-parents who need support, rather than the enemy, is a far better perspective for everyone long-term.
Keep it simple. A phone call, voicemail or text saying Happy Mothers or Fathers Day and offering appreciation for the children you co-created is enough. This is not the time to critique his or her parenting or add “but…” to the greeting. Nor is it a time to discuss any outstanding disagreement. It’s simply to acknowledge what you have created together and to offer a bit of gratitude for your former partner’s contribution. If these options don’t seem right, go to one of the e-greeting card sites and send an e-card. I use www.Bluemountain.com, but there are others. A thoughtful gesture like this goes a long way and softens some of the harder edges of the situation. See it as an investment in your children’s mental health.
Micki McWade, LMSW
mickimcwade.com
View original post: MOTHERS OR FATHERS DAY AND DIVORCE
Popularity: 2% [
Related Posts:
- The 8-Step Formula for Positive Parenting Before & After Divorce
- When Did Our Children Become Mere Dollar Equations?
- Parenting After Divorce: Help Your Kids Adjust to Two Happy Homes
- What to Tell your Spouse Before You Tell the Kids – about the Divorce!
- 5 Tips to Prevent Scarring Your Kids After Divorce!
- Parental Alienation Following Divorce Is Easily Overlooked
- Minimizing The Effects Of Divorce On Children.
- A –Z of Being A Divorce Child
- The Key to a Successful Divorce is a Successful Parenting Plan!
- A Single Parents A – Z
