Simple Divorce Advice

By Hally Rhiannon-Nammu

After spending so much time with someone and then having to seemingly pick up the pieces on your own to start a new life, it is as though a piece of you has been removed. Often afterwards, irrelevant of how smooth things went in the divorce, there tends to be a lingering feeling.
Sometimes this can be resentment, sometimes this can be guilt and other times it is simply hurt for the way things turned out.
What can happen is that as a result we try to hold onto the memories or feelings of the break up to remind ourselves why we are feeling the way that we do.
In the initial stages this is all fine and then the weeks start to turn into months and before you know it, you blink and several years have passed.
One day you find yourself still talking about that person because that negative sensation makes you feel better. You can see your friend sitting opposite you with a glazed expression because they have heard the story a thousand times and because they love you will continue to nod their head at the appropriate times.
What is interesting is what is going on within you. There is no doubt that when pain is associated it becomes difficult to let go.
An interesting process happens when we think about letting go. For some reason we believe we will be missing out on something, such as that wonderful feeling of negativity and the heightened reminder of pain and hurt.
To take this even further if we let go it is as though all of the pain that we have been carrying is dismissed as though it does not matter, it has no relevance and is not justified. In some way it is as though it reduces us to being insignificant in the bigger picture.
However, this is not the case at all.
The fact is that letting go does not and will not diminish the purpose of why you felt pain or hurt. It does not remove what has happened or how you felt because of what has happened. What letting go does do is allow you to move forward. It allows you to release the pain that you are carrying and create an opening to happiness, laughter and joy.

The memory will always be there however, it does not mean that we need to sit constantly within this pain to validate the experience of what has happened.
Give yourself the permission to let go and embrace yourself for the person you are right now. You may be surprised at how easy this actually is and what this gives you once you allow the space for the positives to enter.
Written by: Hally Rhiannon-Nammu – copyright 2011

Hally Rhiannon-Nammu
Power Life Coach / Spiritual Healer of Creative Balance
International Author / Speaker
(www.creativebalance.com.au)

View original post: Letting Go After a Divorce Can Be Hard

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