Is The New Beau Responsible For Your Divorce?

Your partner has left to be with someone else. What do you make of this?

Obviously there is all the personal issues that you need to contend with. There questioning of your personality and physical beauty.

Or is it that the terrible third person has come in and stolen your Beau?

I’m sorry to be the one to tell you but nobody steals anyone that doesn’t want to be stolen.

A spouse having an affair is one of the most heartbreaking and traumatising things that can happen in a marriage and if your spouse then decided that the new person is the ‘one’. The ‘one’ that they really want to spend the rest of their days with it can be almost cripplingly emotional especially when you are expected to be OK, after a while with the joy your spouse is feeling.

Of course, that is never going to happen.

I am constantly amazed at two issues that people in this situation will not see.

1. Nobody who is happily married and secure in their relationship will have an affair. Just doesn’t happen.

2. The person who is having the affair does not have the grace to keep it under wraps for a decent amount of time while the divorce procedure goes through.

People what is wrong with you.

For those of you who have been left; start to look at your marriage and work out how it had been falling apart for probably quite a while. What was happening in your marriage that made your spouse feel isolated and open to someone else? These sorts of questions are not meant to hurt or be used as a means of blame, they are a way to help you take responsibility for your life and how you have lived. If you ever want another relationship then you will be more aware of how a relationship can crumble.

And you, the leaver, the happy, in love spouse, what devastation have you left in your wake as you celebrate meeting your new true love?

Did you need to leave the way you did? Was it caring and wise to let it be known that there was a new love? Was it anything but selfish? Could you not have left in a more dignified way for all concerned? For you it may be that you actually have found someone who will make you happy for the rest of your life but you may also have found someone who is filling a need in you that hasn’t been filled for quite a while.

For your sake I hope you have chosen wisely.

Being kind to your spouse makes a marriage strong being kind to your spouse when you no longer wish to be married is often difficult but not impossible. Try.