Simple Divorce Advice

You have been with the same partner for years, have not made small talk for many of those, in fact, conversation became a total disaster toward the end of the marriage. And now, you are going on a date with a stranger and you couldn’t stand to make a complete fool of yourself.

It’s OK, it really is scary and you just have to chance that the person you are going out with is actually nice. Understanding someone has gone through a hard time and wanting to be part of it are two different things.

Dating is about having fun, talking adult talk, maybe eating, seeing a show or movie. Keep this in mind and follow the following ten tips and you’ll be fine.

1. Do NOT talk about your divorce. Do NOT let your date talk about their divorce. If you end up liking each other enough to share your past marriages it certainly shouldn’t be on the first date.
2. A first date is NOT an interview, although many people seem to think it is. Your list of questions that need answering before you will consider this person as a potential new partner need to be kept for a very different time. If the only reason you are going on a date is to find a new partner then you will either totally bomb out or end up with someone as desperate as yourself. You will get a pretty good idea of the person from spending a couple of hours talking.
3. Dating does not mean sex. Life is complicated enough without jumping into bed with someone on the first date. Keep the first date, and as many as you need, free from sex. Do not allude to sex, do not make sex jokes, do not talk about sex at all.
4. Dress appropriately. You do not know the person you are going out with. Dress with decorum, if sex is off the agenda then do not wear clothes that scream the opposite.
5. If you are going to dinner then eat using all your utensils, keep your mouth shut and your elbows off the table. Nobody wants to sit opposite a pig in a restaurant, it is embarrassing. If you need to brush up on your table manners, do so.
6. Do NOT talk about your children and how wonderful they are through the whole date. All children are wonderful even when they aren’t. It is boring| and will either turn the date into a lecture, a contest or a show, where your date sits with a smile planted on their face wishing the whole thing was over so they could get away. If you end up having a relationship there will be plenty of time for this new person to find out exactly how wonderful your children are.
7. Money is another no-no for a first date. If you want to brag about how much you earn this is not the place to do it. It is also not the place to discuss your woeful finances, the fact that you are insolvent or your ex wants the whole house is not a conversation for a first date. Why would you do this if the reason for the date is to have a good time, forget your troubles for a while and relax?
8. Complaining can be a major turn off or a total turn on, it all depends on the person you are going out with. Pessimists love to complain, while optimists hate it. If you are having a date with a pessimist and are one yourself then nothing on this earth will stop you from turning the conversation to a conversation of dome and gloom. You may have a good talk but may also find you both leave the date a little disappointed. Being positive is much more of a turn on.
9. If you are a man then for goodness sake pay the bill. Every woman appreciates this, every woman wants to be spoilt and every woman will judge you for not paying.
10. If you are a woman then for goodness sake let the man pay the bill. Most men like to care for women and paying the bill, opening a car door or holding your arm are really nice ways for them to express it. Being equal does not mean being sexless.

Following these simple ten tips will help you have a good time, behave well, get to know the person and not complicate the date. Your first date after divorce can be really scary but it can also be really fun, you are in a much better position to enjoy your dates and decide whether you would want to see this person again or not. Many dates turn into friendships as many people dating are going through the same sort of thing and have the same need to just get out and have a good time.

View original: Top Ten Tips To Get You Through The Horror Of The First Date After Divorce

Popularity: 6% [

If you’re new here, you may want to subscribe to my RSS feed. Thanks for visiting!