Divorce Stress Getting Some Relief

Divorce is stressful no matter, if you are having an amicable separation or an all-out battle. There are many practical, legal and emotional issues that take time, discussion and completion and these all cause stress.

Adjusting your life to your new reality during separation and divorce is causes stress. When you are married, no matter how unhappily, you know who you are, where you belong and how your life looks. Changing that reality is new, it can cause some people the utmost joy as they feel free, but for most people discovering who you are now takes time, and can cause a lot of stress through fear and apprehension.

Money Matters- Yes It Does

Settlements over money can be one of the most stressful times during the divorce process, and the negotiations can go on for months and even years, the average time for settlements is nine months to a year. The sort of stress this can cause is known to change health issues for the rest of a person’s life.

Money makes a huge difference in setting up a new life, maintaining a lifestyle and being financial into your retirement years. Married couples tend to set up their savings, retirement funds, insurance, investments and the rest with the idea that they will be together for life. So, when a split comes one house needs to become two, as does every other asset, most of which may have been enough together to support a couple, is no longer adequate to support to singles into retirement.

This causes fear, anger, panic and sometimes pitched battles to get the most from the estate. The thing here is there are two main reasons people fight over money, one, they want to hurt the other person, and two, they are fearful they will be unable to support themselves in the future.

Children Issues and Divorce

When it comes to children issues and divorce agreements, stress can be at its highest. Parents not only have to deal with coming to agreements about children’s routines, visitation and other issues they also have to deal with the children themselves and the children’s emotional concerns and struggles coping with the divorce.

Many people feel overwhelmed with this stress and do not do a great job of keeping the kids out of the emotional conflict surrounding these details. Kids are played like pawns on a chess board, and most parents feel guilt and anguish for this, thus more stress.

Lawyers, Mediators, Coaches and the Process

Unless you are a very together couple who can quickly and amicably come to a joint arrangement on all settlement agreements will occur, then you will most likely get on the divorce process merry-go-round and have to deal with a number of professionals who will all do things at their leisure. That may seem harsh, but it is quite true, getting appointments can take weeks for mediators, lawyers and other divorce professionals.

Stress comes from waiting for these meetings, not knowing what will happen, what the process is, not understanding what comes next, or what is expected of you. The unknown is always scary and will cause stress. Prolonged anxiety causes entrenched stress and this is when people stop sleeping, eating and looking after them-selves.

Getting Some Relief From Divorce Stress

One of the easiest ways to get a little divorce stress is to educate yourself about the process you are in and how it works. That is to say, that you should be asking questions of your divorce professionals, such as, ‘what happens if …. Doesn’t work?’ or ‘how long is ….. going to take?’.

When you have answers to questions about the options you do have in your divorce you can then make really informed courses decisions whether to follow certain courses or choose other options.

Educate yourself on your financial choices so you are very aware of how your financial future looks, best and worst case scenario. There are many financial specialists who can help you work out your financial choices for when a financial settlement is reached. Again, knowing your options helps with stress as it gives you choices, they may not be the ones you wanted but they are real and tangible and can give huge relief from the unknown.

Looking after your body and mind is a fundamental is any stressful situation|. Physically you are producing stress hormones that are not supposed to be produced for long periods, so you are are already physically taxing your body just by thinking about your divorce and your difficulties.

Adding to this stress by drinking alcohol, taking drugs, over or under eating, eating the wrong foods, not getting physical exercise, not getting enough sleep or simply cutting yourself off from any pleasure is just plain foolish. You are punishing yourself more than necessary| and if you feel you deserve a bit of punishment then you should be seeing a therapist to discuss these issues and get some relief.

Getting some relief form divorce stress is possible only with attention to what is going on around you, taking some control back of the situation and looking after yourself physically and mentally. Now is not the time to curl into a ball and let whatever happens happen, this is the time to start to be kind to yourself, have a real say in your outcomes and understand your options.

You can find out more about Nicola Baume at her website, http://www.baumeandco.com.au for divorce coaching and planning.