Simple Divorce Advice

by Anthony Karal

Divorce grief is not something you can necessarily control, it is something you have to feel, acknowledge and let go. Easier said than done obviously, it can be so annoying being told to let go of these feelings when they feel like they are wound so strongly around you.

Grief like other emotions can make you behave in different ways. Anger can make you strike out, happiness can make you dance down a street.

Grief can make you want to curl up in a corner and either blame the world or yourself for what has occurred.

Blame does no good, ever. It is extremely difficult to take responsibility for your situation when you are in the midst of grief, even if you are blaming yourself. Responsibility is not taking the blame it is acknowledging that you had a part to play in your marriage and you could have done things differently.

To love someone and to lose them is devastating and takes a long time to come to grips with, so does the end of a marriage, even if it was your decision. Not being able to stay in a marriage does not mean you did not love being married and will miss it.

If you are going through divorce grief then be kind to yourself, realise that this is a normal part of the separation and divorce process, it needs to be given space and your feelings need to be given appropriate attention so you do not internalize them and have them surface as bitterness that will only end up hurting you more.

Give yourself time to grieve, tell those around you that this is important for you. Cry yourself ragged if needs be.

If you have children whom you do not want to see this then find family and friends to support you so you can be free to grieve. Most people get married with the intention of ‘forever’, when this doesn’t happen there is a sadness that must be acknowledged and accepted.