Simple Divorce Advice

By Samuel B. Anderson

Divorce often means that at some stage first one and then the other spouse must cope with leaving the family home. This is not a pleasant experience for most people and dealing with this can be tricky. Making a home and belonging somewhere is high on most peoples to do lists, to let it go and start somewhere new can be extremely difficult.

Moving physically apart does usually mean dividing the belongings you have accumulated as a partnership, deciding who gets what and removing your personal possessions from the mix. This can be a bone of contention between couples as items with great meaning can be hard to divide.

Do your selves a favour, try to come from a place of sympathy for each other and value the sadness that you are both experiencing in taking to pieces a life you have made together. The emotional value of things can be great for some people, so do not try to play ‘hurt the other person’ with belongings. It is cruel and usually unnecessary.

When separation is imminent, whether you are the one leaving or not there are few important details that need to be covered.

First, Make sure you have the originals or a copy of all the documents of the marriage that you will need for the divorce proceedings. This includes all certificates, births and marriages, banking and credit statements, debts, assets, insurance, retirements or super funds, business documents, leases, utility statements and anything else you can think of that may be relevant to your financial settlement.

Do not be an arse, if you are taking the originals, leave copies for your spouse. You cannot make things disappear these days; you can only make your divorce more expensive if documentation has to be sourced.

Second, Make sure you have all your personal belongings together, these are belongings you may have brought into the marriage, your clothes and jewellery, your sports equipment, your hobby equipment and anything else that is inherently yours. The value of some of these items may need to be part of an eventual financial settlement but that does not mean that your spouse should be left with or be responsible for your personal belongings.

It is better etiquette to discuss with your spouse how it would be best to go about packing and dividing belongings, starting with personal belongings. Is it something you wish to do alone or is it better that as a couple you go through the house and discuss items as you come across them.

Third, Be aware that for as difficult as this is for you then it is probably just as difficult for your spouse. It is these highly charged emotional situations that nobody is really ready for and certainly not trained to get through. You will both be coping as best you can with the emotional tools you have available to you. Remember, these tools are the ones that have led you to this point and neither of you will be able to cope with this situation in a rational and logical way as the hurt and sadness will always be there. Accept this both for yourself and your spouse and try to be kind to each other.

By Samuel B. Anderson, Divorce Mentor and Coach

Author of Win Your Divorce – The Ultimate Workbook which is available for immediate download through the internets most trusted carrier. For more information on the workbook read what Samuel has to say or simple buy here.

View original: Divorce Moving, Coping With Leaving Home

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