Simple Divorce Advice

Have you ever found that you sometimes have to write a letter, a text or even an email to your spouse and the next thing you know is that world war three has broken out?

Was this your objective in the first place, was it the way you phrased something, the tone of the message or something else that was taken the wrong way.

When emotions are running really high the smallest reminder of a hurt can escalate a situation to a whole new level. The problem with words is that there is no tone of voice, inflection or volume to go along with them. They are just words.

Your spouse is going to read those words from a memory of you and the way you may have delivered them. This is why you need to be careful.

Text messages have become really easy ways to communicate without needing to actually speak. This can be a good thing in highly volatile divorces as a quick, polite text can stop an argument from ever beginning. The problem with texting is that they are also used as a way to keep an argument going for long periods of time, sometimes days. The text message has a slight emotional buffer even though it is immediate.

Keep Your Messages Polite:
Instead of ‘Running late’ write something more appropriate to a person you respect ‘Name, terribly sorry I’m running late’. The difference is obvious.

If you get a rude text, you have a few options, the first of which is to ignore it. If your spouse wants a fight you do not have to give them one. There is no grand rule that says text messages must be answered at all times.

And if you keep getting rude text messages then you can always send a simple, ‘please stop sending rude messages, if they persist, I will have to block your number’ this might be difficult if children are involved but it will get the message across that bad behavior will not be tolerated nor joined in with.

Emails are the other modern day written communication most often used. Like a text message a little bit of care can change your written tone from aggressive to non threatening.

‘Hello, how are you, thank you, could you please, would it be OK’ are the sorts of language to take the aggression out of the email. Be aware, that it may take some time to start getting polite replies to your new way of communicating especially if you have been hostile in your emails or texts in the past.

If this is the case you can explain that you will no longer partake of antagonistic communication and just want to be polite and be treated the same way. Your spouse can either agree or not.

A calm and respectful divorce comes from people behaving in a calm and respectful way. You have the choice to be part of a battle and make things worse or to try to calm the process and make things easier. Begin with the way sdfd  you write a text message or email and see how much smoother your divorce becomes.

Read the original: How To Deal With Divorce Communications

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