Simple Divorce Advice

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Keeping It Together

February 16, 2010

Divorce Coaches – What’s The Difference?

divorce coachWhat is a divorce coach and why would you want to hire one? The first part of the question is simple to answer and harder to explain. The term divorce coach covers a pretty broad spectrum at the moment. There are different types of divorce coaches practicing in the divorce field, mainly because the word ‘coach’ can be used broadly. This will not always be the case but for now it is and so you need to be aware that not all divorce coaches do the same thing. Some of the coaches only work in collaborative divorce. Meaning they will partner you through a collaborative divorce and like the other members of your divorce team will stop working with you when your divorce is settled. These coaches are trained to help you get through the divorce with your self-respect and integrity intact. A collaborative divorce is when the two parties agree not to litigate and to try to keep things as friendly and respectful as possible for the sake of any children involved and themselves. Collaborative divorce can involve teams of experts to help the participants reach their goals. A divorce coach for each spouse is common practice when a full team is used. A full team consists of two lawyers, two coaches, a financial expert and a child expert to be the voice of the children in the proceedings. There are divorce coaches who have a legal background, usually lawyers that have decided that coaching better uses their abilities, and will partner with you through the legal process. They can advise you on your choice of lawyer and how to ask the right questions and get the best service; they will prepare you for court and go with you if you need them to. They can also assist you in making the right choices when you are making legal decisions. Some of these types of coaches are also trained in life skills and will help you with coping skills and plan for your future. The other kind of divorce coach you will come across is trained in life skills and will work with you as long as necessary to plan your divorce and your new life. Like the above coaches they will work to get you through the divorce itself and help you deal with all the problems of communication, emotional upheaval and others that may arise. Many of these coaches will prepare you for court and go with you if necessary. The difference being this coach can come into play at any time in the divorce process. These sorts of coaches may see people before they have left the marriage, during the separation and divorce process or after the legal settlement has been finalized. This type of coach specializes in divorce and helping clients discover what it is they want and how to plan to do that. The choice of coach is entirely up to you and your needs. When choosing a coach remember these points so you can find the right person; 1. Ask a lot of questions. Ask all the questions you need to understand how this particular coaching works and what you will benefit from it. Through your questions decide if you can work with this coach to get through your divorce. 2. Know why you are going. Before you make an appointment with a coach decide what it is you want to get out of the coaching. Discuss this with the coach to see if you will be able to work together. 3. Be ready to move ahead. Most coaches only want to work with motivated people and will not want to work with those that are not. Be very sure you are ready to move ahead and have a partner who will push you to do this. When choosing a coach or coaching program please remember that you are paying a professional for their time and expertise. The cost of a coach is nowhere near as high as an attorney and so the benefit of being able to talk things through before getting the legal spin will often save money. Often decisions made at this time are terribly emotional and can turn out to be the wrong decision in the long term. Employing a coach to help with these situations can be a very wise decision.

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One Comment


  1. Divorce is tough – something I hope to never go through again. Trying to learn all I can about making things work, but there seems to be a lot of support out there for those going through this. I mean heck, there is a whole group of us on http://www.datecover.com



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