Simple Divorce Advice

Over the last week I have been having a good think about my clients and their physical ways of handling the divorce process. Some get really thin, some put on weight, some become body obsessed as a way of controlling something. Divorce is one of the major stress situations which can actually change your health and should not be taken lightly as research shows that you do not recover from this.

A lot of research has been done on divorce and stress. Here are a few of the common findings I have found particularly interesting.

• Married couples have longer life expectancy than men and women who have been divorced.
• When diagnosed with cancer married people are more likely to recover than divorced people which indicate that the emotional trauma of divorce has long term effects on health.
• A decline in mental health occurs for both men and women after divorce, with women being more affected than men. Divorce effects depression, hostility, self-acceptance, personal growth and positive relations with others.

I particularly like this, “a Yale researcher concluded that “being divorced and a nonsmoker is [only] slightly less dangerous than smoking a pack a day and staying married.”

Divorce is a reality for approximately 50% of marriages at the moment so that is a lot of people needing to really look after their health at a time when they would probably prefer not to have to think about health or healthy living.

When in a stressful environment it is somehow easier to take it out on one’s self. When I was gong through my divorce I would eat chocolate, in a very particular way. I would make black coffee and then dunk my chocolate into the coffee and suck the melting goo. It was my stress fix, I knew I was doing a naughty, as a trained nutritionist I couldn’t exactly lie to myself. Also hiding the chocolate from my kids was a bit of a give away that things were not exactly on track.

The trouble with the chocolate fix is not so much the bit of sugar and crap I was ingesting but the impact it had on an already stressed body. That amount of sugar causes a big increase in blood sugar and then later an even bigger crash, if I kept it up I could have ended up diabetic.

The body is already going through a lot of physical trauma when it gets mentally stressed and this must be taken into consideration before one reaches for the metaphoric block of chocolate.

The problem with stress from a divorce is that it is not usually short term, divorce drags on for months if not years and it feels like the emotional batter is always waiting in the wings to jump out at you and bring you down. Waiting for the next issue can be just as exhausting as when it finally shows up.

Looking after your health must be some sort of priority at this time even if you would rather go to bed with a bottle of ‘whatever’, a block of chocolate or a packet of crisps and a movie. Or not eat at all.

The problem here is that it is you actually being mean to yourself by not taking care of yourself and as we have seen from the above info it is you that will suffer in the future when the divorce is over and gone.

Exercise, healthy eating and relaxation can all be achieved, there are a plethora of information available on the net, in book stores or with professionals that work in the stress industries.

If you need classes find them.

If you need a massage get one.

If you need exercise get up now and go for a walk.

Being kind to yourself does not always mean giving into your emotional state but seeing the bigger picture and getting ready for it is far kinder in reality.

View original: Divorce Stress, Chocolate Fixes, Exercise and Being Kind To Yourself

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