Who are you listening to and taking advice from while going through your divorce?
All I can say is be very careful!!!!
Gathering information is fine, it is always good to get different perspectives and the most informed information you can before you decide on specific paths you want to follow.
The problem with divorce is that everyone seems to have ghastly stories to tell that you should be aware of so that you do not have the same outcomes. The problem with this is that each divorce case is different and the outcome will be determined by the people directly involved in that case.
The history of the marriage, the length of the marriage, the finances of the marriage, the roles assumed during the marriage, the way the divorce is conducted, the ability of the lawyers (if used) and the professionals, all the way up to judges.
As much as it would be nice to believe that the law is the same for everyone and if one person has a certain outcome then you will also is not the case at all.
One of the things I have learnt from this industry is that the law has a lot of ‘grey’ area. It is the ‘grey’ you fight over and it is the ‘grey’ that will be negotiated by you, your lawyers, your mediators, the judge. And you are all people capable of very good days and very bad days.
You may have friends or relatives that you are talking to about getting divorced. Remember that their views may be tilted by their own experiences. If you do have friends that have been through divorce then only ask for the knowledge they have real authority with such as ask them how they coped in certain situations.
Asking those sorts of questions will surely give you more help than second hand accounts of how to actually conduct the proceedings and expected outcomes.
Your family and friends will probably only have your best interests at heart but they may not be the right people to be taking advice from.
Watch out, stay in control and use your own best judgement.
Source: Divorce Advice – Who Do You Listen To?
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