Simple Divorce Advice

Where does the love go? How does a marriage breakdown to the point of divorce. Recovery starts with understanding how a relationship can breakdown. There are many reasons for divorce, these are some of the most common.

Damaging Communication – this has to be the top reason love diminishes and couples shut down their communication. There is nothing worse than not being heard and not feeling like you can express your feelings without being criticised or not being understood. This sort of breakdown of a relationship takes time, it is not usually one thing, it is many, many small misunderstandings that lead to two people to shutting off their feelings and eventually not being able or want to keep living together.

Financial Difficulties  - money causes all sorts of problems in a marriage. When money isn’t discussed at the outset of a marriage and expectations of how money will be used, saved, invested and spent are not discussed then there are usually problems. When money is tight and a constant stress it impacts on a relationship and can cause the relationship to breakdown.

Infidelity – people tend to put up with all sorts of bad behaviour in a marriage but infidelity is a deal breaker for many couples. Infidelity may be the effect of marriage breakdown, with anger and resentment being common reasons for infidelity. Getting over a spouse having an affair, or one night stand, is too much for many people so divorce is the only option.

Abuse mental and physical – toward children or each other is a reason for divorce. Abuse includes both physical, that being, fighting, violence, physical bullying or any sort of manhandling, being afraid for your physical state or that of your child. Psychological abuse can be devastating to a marriage, it also includes emotional abuse. Verbal slights can range from negative statements to

Addiction of all kinds – include drug, alcohol, gambling, games and internet can be too much for a marriage. Addiction is a compulsion and the compulsion does not stop because one spouse yells at the other. Addiction is only treated when the person with the addiction decides to take action. Often the only way to distance oneself from an addiction is to divorce the person with it.

Unmet Expectations – people marry with certain expectations of how a marriage works, where a joint life will take them and how the marriage will be conducted. If these expectations are not shared, discussed and agreed upon before a marriage then there can be issues. Unmet expectations can be a slow deterioration of a relationship as one partner slowly feels more and more let down, often the other partner does not realise the impact these issues is having on the marriage.

Commitment Issues – as with unmet expectations, commitment to the marriage may mean different things to both partners. If a firm understanding has not been put in place from the beginning then one partner may start to feel unloved and unappreciated as they are not getting the commitment they desire. While the other partner may feel put upon for not being allowed the space they desire.

Change in Goals – people change. They grow, they learn, they experience new things. When one spouse of a marriage starts to change their direction and find new goals they wish to reach there can be a breakdown in the relationship. It is difficult to live with a person who no longer travels the same path either as the person changing or the person who has not.

Stepfamily Breakdown – the way a second family is set up is very important to the survival of a second marriage especially when children are involved. The issues of how children should be treated, discipline, and household rules can complicate a marriage unless each partner has agreed to the rules for the step family. Allowing children to override a new spouse, or having different sets of rules for different children puts a marriage under intense pressure and can be too much for many.

View original: Understanding The Top Reasons For Divorce

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