Simple Divorce Advice

Being stimulated and active while going through the emotional trauma of a divorce can be difficult at best and down-right impossible for many. Moving forward is the key to triumphing over the feelings that engulf. The key to getting things done is discovering why the “something” is essential to you.

Try these five strategies to get you moving;

1. Before you do anything, question your motives and the outcomes you would like to see from the issue you are dealing with. And then question yourself a little more, are you being fair, are you making decisions to hurt rather than decisions that will benefit. It is really easy in a long drawn out process like divorce to get cranky or to lash out. A fight can seem like a good option when your emotions are raw; you are feeling lonely or sad, afraid or angry. Do not use aggression to make yourself feel better.
2. Your motives are a start to getting things moving, your plans for the future, your ultimate outcomes or your short term goals all play a part in the way you will conduct yourself and your divorce proceedings. Now is the time to plan your life, it may not look rosy right now but you will live it so making a plan to have the best possible life will help you understand what you need to accomplish it.
3. Keep a record of your accomplishments; it is all too easy to forget successes once they have been achieved. Your achievements while going through divorce may be different to those you would normally call triumphs but triumphs they are and celebrate them you really should. It is not easy to write a divorce budget, fill in all the paperwork that needs doing for lawyers, pack your or your spouse’s belongings, deal with children alone or any of the myriad of activities that divorce throws at you. Keep a record on a calendar and just see how much you are getting done without realizing it.
4. Keep a To Do list, jot down everything and anything that you need to deal with. Not just to do with the divorce, motivation and achievement come from action in all parts of your life. If you need to water the plants, put it on the list, if you need to wash the car, put it on the list, if you need to call your lawyer, put that on your list and cross everything off at the end of the day. It is the sense of accomplishment which will help you with motivation and general mood when you realize how much you really are getting done.
5. Start every day with the worst chore. Get the worst job over and you will not have to carry around that nagging feeling which brings you down and makes you feel awful. If you need to make a call, make it. If you need to write a letter do that, if it is packing do that. Doing the worst chore first frees your mind and your emotions up and gives you a good boast of self-respect everyday. It is the lightening of mood that will eventually give you more and more motivation to achieve your goals and make a new life.

Divorce can be so debilitating for so many people that having a few strategies in place is extremely wise. The best divorce advice I can give you is to make yourself strong while keeping an even head and doing the wise thing. The wise thing does not always make you feel better in the moment but it will eventually when you finally come out of the divorce tunnel and will know you behaved well, did the best for your family and took responsibility for your actions.

By Nicola Baume

Divorce Coaching and Planner

www.baumeandco.com.au

Originally posted: How to be Enthused and Stay Encouraged in a Divorce

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