Simple Divorce Advice

Did you know that people fight much harder to hold onto something than to start something new!

In divorce it happens all the time, a massive fight over assets, parenting, the dog. The only ones that actually come out ahead in these fights are the lawyers, and don’t get me wrong I believe 99% of lawyers do an amazing job. But the effort that goes into the fight is nothing more than destructive.

There actually are couples that sit down and calmly work out the division of their marriage and then get on with the rest of their lives, all their energy can go into creating something new. It seems a much better use of energy.

Now before you start saying, ‘it isn’t me…..’ I don’t believe you. If you are fighting to get your share or keep your kids from moving away, you are still very much in the fight. I am not judging here at all, it is about the effort put into the fighting that ultimately leaves two very tired and emotionally scarred people who will take years to find the energy needed to start building a life again that I am worried about. It takes two to make the divorce process escalate.

If there is one really big issue in your divorce that you feel really strongly about then that is where you should draw the line but do not then fight over all the insignificant things that will only drain you.

If you change the way you view things then you may find it easier to give a little so that you will be able to move forward. Divorce is a negotiation and a good negotiator knows when to bargain and when to give. This is what you need to learn.

Changing your mindset is not as difficult as you think. Start by making yourself a list of the worst case scenario that the divorce could make happen. I think you will find that by writing things down your fears are probably two steps ahead of the reality.

Goal setting is a great way to refocus your attention and get you thinking about the future instead of fighting to hold onto the past. You set new exciting goals and you focus on these every day. One of my favorite pieces of wisdom is that it is impossible to be sad if you are happy. So find the happy things you want and concentrate on them.

Some people need more than a goal they need a really big shake up to their thinking. If this is you ask the question, ‘is my glass half empty or half full?’

If you answer half full, good on you and get writing those goals and changing your attitude.

If you answered half empty, find yourself a good therapist or coach and find out why.

Further reading;

Learn to Set Goals, Click here!

The 11 Forgotten Laws by Bob Proctor, Click here!

Excerpt from: Divorce Advice For Your Mindset

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