Simple Divorce Advice

Dating can be terrifying for the newly divorced. I put off dating for 2 years; I had children to look after, a career to reignite, money worries and a large amount of emotional baggage to work through. I thought it best to not complicate things any more than necessary and bringing new people into the equations just didn’t feel viable.

Eventually, I was embarrassed into dating after a girl’s night out with one loud mouth friend telling a delicious young waiter that I had not had a date in 2 years and he should take advantage. There was much laughter as I was presented with a chocolate dessert and a phone number. I was mortified. And no, I didn’t ring the number.

The thing I forgot was it makes you feel better about yourself to date, have a good time, flirt a little, be desired and feel in control. These feelings then carry over into the other areas of your life and make you feel stronger and happier in practically all you do. You hold yourself higher, you try a little bit harder with your dress or exercise, it suddenly matters just that tad more and all this helps to mend the aching self-respect that a marriage breakdown invariable leaves in its wake.

I believe there are signals we give off, to say, hey I’m taken so don’t bother asking me out or trying to flirt with me because I am simply not interested. Most people give off these signals when they are married and many forget to turn them off when they become single. I’m never sure exactly of the chemistry behind that last statement but one thing I am certain of, is that if I have been dating and feel good then men approach me differently and strangers will notice and sometimes even start a conversation.

Yet when I haven’t been dating, I go back to being a non-entity in the dating world. I do not get approached and I do not obviously give off the signals. It is probably basic chemistry and my pheromones are probably going berserk but it is definitely worth a look at as a dating must do.

If you are ready to start dating, then just do it. A date does not mean a relationship, a new marriage or a future together. A date should be viewed as a pleasure. A way to feel good about yourself, a way to feel good about the place you are in at this time and how you are handling your life. View a date as a break, a reward for coming this far, be the perfect date partner and enjoy yourself.

By Jennifer Chang

Jennifer is one of the co-contributors to Win Your Divorce The Workbook – the www.simpledivorceadvice.com – a workbook for all the areas of divorce to give our readers the help they need to move forward through the divorce process and into a new life.

Originally posted: The Terrifying Prospect of Dating After Divorce

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