Simple Divorce Advice

Getting divorced is one thing. Going on a date is another. But coping with the myriad of emotions when your ex starts dating can be quite daunting. Understanding logically that your relationship is over is reasonably easy, what is hard is getting the emotional side of you to accept this reality. Even if you wanted the split it can be hard to cope with the fact that your ex is moving on and finding someone new.

Why is your ex dating? To move on, they are desperately lonely, they really are ready, etc. does it matter?

Everyone goes through uncertain emotions when their ex starts to date. Leaving a marriage is an emotionally complicated process, you may be relieved to leave behind certain situations that cause stress such as fights over money or children. The one thing you can rely on, usually, in a marriage is that you are loved and the only lover/partner for your spouse.

Below are tips to get through your ex starting to date:

1. Your feelings are natural and to be expected. They may not be logical but it seems most people have real emotional turmoil to cope with when their ex starts to move forward with their love life.
2. Remind yourself why you divorced. Whether you initiated the divorce or not there must have been insurmountable issues. The issues you had as a couple were the reason the marriage broke down.
3. Jealousy is normal. Whether it be jealousy that your ex is moving forward or that you feel that a new person is not appropriate, it simply doesn’t matter. Jealousy is a feeling and simply be aware that it exists and will eventually go away as you get used to the idea and over the shock of your ex dating again.
4. Don’t Brood, get out and start to live yourself. This does not mean that you should start to date if you are not ready. It means do not sit around moping over your ex’s behaviour, concentrate on your own and making yourself happy.
5. Moving forward, is important for both of you, and if your ex feels ready to get back into the dating arena before you then understand that that is their choice, their right and their reasons are to be respected. Moving forward is extremely important in all areas.

However shocking it is for you that your ex starts to date other people, it will pass and you will find that this actually helps you move forward into a new life as it is time to really sever the bond that holds you to them.

Jennifer Chang works with simpledivorceadvice.com as a dating expert and authority on women’s issues. She also is one of the contributors who wrote  Win Your Divorce – The Ultimate Workbook – available from Simple Divorce Advice.com

See original: How To Cope When Your Ex Starts To Date

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